Last night one of our dearest friends did one of the most thoughtful and generous things for our family. I literally cried with gratitude. Coincidentally, right before meeting with him, I had just come back from teaching at my son’s religion education class. The lesson was about “The Good Samaritan” and how we can apply the principle of “loving your neighbor as yourself” in our daily lives. Our 4th grade class had much discussion about acts of kindness, acts of mercy, and how to be a caring and loving individual. We had specifically talked about how simple acts of kindness can start a chain of thoughtful events while leading others to also act with kindness.
As the kids shared ways in which they planned on doing acts of kindness and ways in which they have already performed good deeds, we asked ourselves lots of questions. Are we helping those in need on the side of the road? Are we paying attention to those that are hurting? Do you defend another’s character while they are unjustly being disparaged? Are we giving each other the benefit of the doubt? Does our behavior show good character?
We can never equally reciprocate our friend for what he has done for us nor does he want us to. But his act of kindness is a great example of love and friendship that we will never forget. It also inspires us to be generous in our acts of kindness. Right now, our way of being generous and showing “love for our neighbors” is by continually volunteering at our local schools and our church. Our hope is that our children can benefit from seeing our friend’s act of kindness and witnessing our volunteering activities, inspiring them to also act with kindness. Also we hope that our community at large can benefit too.
The expression “paying it forward” is about finding a way to help your community and your fellow human beings. There is actually a “Pay It Forward” foundation that promotes “lending a helping hand to someone in need…making a difference by doing something small…leaving the world a better place than you found it.” I know our friend a great believer in “paying it forward;” we are definitely not the only recipients of his kindness.
Let us inspire others by doing our own acts of kindness and talk with our kids about how the world needs good neighbors. Treating others like you want to be treated cannot be said enough. Little acts of kindness do make the world a better place.

The following paragraph is the concluding one in a book where a Grandfather is describing his Grandson’s perseverence in overcoming his difficulties in becoming proficient in a cherished Family activity. The lesson offered is invaluable to all of us, but especially so to the development of our Children.

“This is the greatest lesson a child can learn. It is the greatest lesson anyone can learn. It has been the greatest lesson I have learned: if you persevere, stick with it, work at it, you have a real opportunity to achieve something. Sure, there will be storms along the way. And you might not reach your goal right away. But if you do your best and keep a true compass, you’ll get there.”

The book is “True Compass”, the memoir by the now deceased Senator Edward M. Kennedy. It is interesting to note that in all that happened in this public figure’s life and all the well known people he knew, his final two pages concerning his life were about his Son and Grandson.

Thanks for sharing your time with me—till next time, stay “Zykis Safe.”

I am guilty.  I am so guilty.  I am so guilty of doing the exact opposite of what I expect from my children sometimes.  My favorite is when I catch myself yelling from upstairs to my kids downstairs, “Stop that yelling!” Another favorite is when I am constantly telling them to chew with their mouths closed while I am quite possibly the most obnoxious gum-chewer around.  Or another one is telling them that they need to eat properly while I am also avoiding the broccoli.  How can we raise great, super children while being so imperfect ourselves?

Model the behavior that you expect.  Demonstrating the proper behavior at all times would be ideal but probably impossible.  I will watch my child overreact to something like spilled milk or a missed assignment and I will cringe realizing that the behavior was learned and basically duplicated from what they have seen me do.  Long ago, when the baseball player, Steve Garvey was known as “Mr. Clean,” Steve made a remark about how he tried to behave well at all times by pretending that there was a child walking behind him; this would help keep himself in line.  This is generally good advice; if you know that you are being watched at all times you generally will behave better.  When we were in Hawaii a few years ago, we were very excited to visit the lava fields.  I told each of our children that they can take a piece of lava home with them as a souvenir. Just as we were leaving, we saw the sign stating that it was illegal to take any of the natural resources. I was so tempted to allow them still to take the lava but I made them put the pieces back. My oldest said, “Mom, no one will know if we take it.” My response to her was, “that is when your true character comes through…doing what is right even when no one is looking.”  Our children are watching us all of the time whether we like or not. 

Change your habits.  I am in the process of changing my organizational habits because I can see that my kids are not picking up my husband’s good habits of an organized room but my bad habit of a disheveled room. Shocking! I want them to pick up all of their clothes on a nightly basis and make their beds on a daily basis.  I have not enforced this endeavor since I myself do not demonstrate this behavior.  I generally do not make many threats to my children since I know that you must follow-up with consequences.  I cannot expect one thing while doing another.  My grandpa smoked cigarettes for years and would constantly tell me that he would spank me if he ever caught me smoking.  I remember being in his little Mazda with the windows opened just a crack, the car filled with smoke, as he was telling me how bad smoking was.  It was a classic “Do what I say and not as I do” moment.  Lucky for him, I never did smoke.  Most likely the fact that my parents detested smoking, would make us change immediately when we got home from my grandparents’ house and take a shower to get rid of the cigarette smell, helped steer me not to ever try smoking. 

Acknowledge your mistakes.  We are only human and we will make mistakes.  Sometimes the best that we can do is acknowledging our wrongdoings, apologize, and do better next time. My favorite book that I read to my children is Harriet You Drive Me Wild!  I love this book because it exemplifies that sometimes we parents can be pushed to our limits, overreact for a moment, but can apologize when calm and ask for forgiveness.  At the same time, discipline our children on what is proper behavior.  Our children need to know that we are there for them when they will overreact, or make mistakes, or make wrong choices. Success generally only comes after failure.  How can we learn if we never make mistakes? Also we need to make sure that their wrong choices have consequences that fit the wrongdoing.  I never realized how much “tough love” is involved with good parenting until, of course, I became a parent.

Constant communication is a huge theme that runs within our family.  We value talking, discussing, and even arguing when necessary.  Hopefully our ‘little monkeys’ are seeing more “right” in what we are doing than “wrong.”

Well, it’s here: 2011. Can you believe it. I am super-busy in January as my clients are looking for the edge on making certain that 2011 is more productive than 2010. Do you have a plan?

Here is my 5-Step plan for making 2011 your best year ever:

December offers a myriad of events and complexities in our lives. It is a chocked full month. It is a time of year that also offers us some of life’s most rewarding opportunities and possibilities. The experiences we give and receive are usually a direct result of our ability to keep it simple and stay in balance. December is such an awesome time to attain your proper perspective and practice Being In The Moment!

As you develop your own philosophy of life that guides you through your days and that you share with your Family and Friends, here is a major portion of my formula that I would like to share with you. First, wake up Grateful(to be alive, be who you are, and have what you have)! Second, be Open(all is possible, each new day can be a better day and you can be a better person)! Third, Eckhart Tolle suggests in his writings that there are three modalities that you must possess to Be In The Moment. They are Acceptance(complete and total), Enjoyment, and Enthusiasm(literally meaning- thanking God for life). He further suggests that all else is Ego(to be eliminated). In addition, Eckhart advises that you vacate JAR(a short abbreviation a friend of mine created), which represents being  judgemental, being attached, and being resistant. Fourth, and finally, we return to the beginning of our day when we first wake up, and after being Grateful and Open, we can reflect on the following thought from the Tao Te Ching by Lao-tzu — “Remind yourself daily that there is no way to happiness; rather, Happiness is the Way!”

Hoping all of you are In The Moment — In Your Moments of Your Life! Wishing all of you the Healthiest and Happiest of  Holidays!

Thanks for sharing your time with me — till next time, stay “ZYKIS SAFE!”

Segment 3 of 4 from Dan Lier‘s episode Raising Champions from this TV show YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL. America’s Coach Dan Lier shares his views on discipline and nutrition in the home.

Childhood Obesity Statistics
In 2004, there was a research report written about a study that lasted from 1999 to 2002 entitled “Prevalence of overweight and obesity among children and adolescents: United States” conducted by the CDC. According to that report “16 % children (over 9 million) 6-19 year olds are overweight or obese” this is three times what it was in 1980. In addition, this report brings out the fact that also during this same time period an additional 15% were “at risk of becoming overweight”.

Not only has this number tripled, but in the past three decades (according to this same study) obesity has “more than doubled” in both children and adolescents from ages 2-5 and also ages 12-19 while more than tripling in children between the ages of 6-11.

Not only is it what we have been feeding our kids and what they have demanded at times, but it is also the lack of exercise, not only in the schools, but also after school at home. You know the scenario, you’re sitting with your friend when her kids come home and they begin to fight over it. They are yelling and screaming, demanding that it is their turn to use whatever mechanical device may have just rolled off the shelves at the nearest store. These devices range from DVD players, to video games, to the latest video or other fantastic toy that has become number one on the ratings list.

We ourselves are at fault for what is happening to our children. Some of them are too young to even know better, so it is up to us to watch what our children are eating and how much exercise they are getting.

It is somewhat ironic that on “Black Friday” I am writing about a “black subject” that is haunting for all responsible, caring and loving Parents. There seems to be a growing number of demented and despicable people that want to harm Children. It is impossible to fathom how a human being can possess the capacity to kidnap a Child. The entire rash of these Child abuse crimes make decent people feel nauseous and, to a certain degree, helpless. We cannot afford to accept a feeling of helplessness—this lack of confidence that we can do something to control this danger is inexcusable adult behavior! Parents and Authorities must be totally vigilant every moment!

The specific case that caused me to write this article is the Elizabeth Smart kidnapping that occurred in Utah some years ago. The television show that piqued my interest was Anderson Cooper’s 360(CNN) and his recent interview of John Walsh(noted Child Safety Activist). The details of this case sadly begin with a lack of a thorough investigation, by Elizabeth’s Parents(as well meaning as they were trying to be to a fellow human being), of a newly introduced individual(the eventual kidnapper) into their Children’s and Family’s lives. The lack of a complete profile was one of the unintentional factors that  led to an unimaginable and tragic sequence of events — resulting in a nightmare living experience for, most of all, a beautiful young girl, Elizabeth Smart and her Family.

John Walsh went on to describe how Elizabeth’s Parents have been taking wonderful care of Elizabeth since her return by the Police. The Smarts have protected Elizabeth from the media and ensured her having the opportunity to heal. John also pointed out how well Elizabeth and her Parents had protected the prosecution of this case so justice could be done. This has not been the standard in most cases of this nature. Walsh further commented how impressed he was with Lois and Ed Smart.  But, most of all, the knowledgeable Walsh saved his highest praise for Elizabeth . He described her as one of the most remarkable individuals he had ever known. He expressed his total admiration for her courage, her composure, her grace, her style, her patience and her ability to forgive(all concerned, including herself) and move forward.

John Walsh saved his harshest criticism for the selfish and self aggrandizing media. He told of the media’s complete disregard for the well being of any victim—of this victim! They only want to be first with a story, no matter what harm it may cause to an individual, a Family, or a prosecution.

Elizabeth Smart is the “silver lining’ in this story. She exhibits so many qualities, at such a young age, of a true hero. Elizabeth is a shining example of the best ingredients of the human spirit. We honor you, Elizabeth Smart, and wish you an ensuing life of health, happiness, and peace!

Thanks for sharing your time with me—till the next time, stay “ZYKIS SAFE!”

It is a wonderful day to be alive — every day is a wonderful day to be alive!

The Art of Thanksgiving is Thanksliving. It is gratitude in action. It is applying Albert Schweitzer’s philosophy: “In gratitude for your own good fortune you must render in return some sacrifice of your life for other life.”

“It is thanking God(or being thankful-(mb)) for the gift of life by living it triumphantly.

 It is thanking God(or being thankful) for your talents and abilities by accepting them as obligations to be invested for the common good.

 It is thanking God(or being thankful) for all that men and women have done for you by doing things for others.

 It is thanking God(or being thankful) for opportunities by accepting them as a challenge to achievement.

 It is thanking God(or being thankful) for happiness by striving to make others happy.

 It is thanking God(or being thankful) for beauty by helping to make the world more beautiful.

 It is thanking God(or being thankful) for inspiration by trying to be an inspiration to others.

 It is thanking God(or being thankful) for health and strength by the care and reverence you show your body.

 It is thanking God(or being thankful) for the creative ideas that enrich life by adding your own creative contributions to human progress.

 It is thanking God(or being thankful) for each new day by living it to the fullest.

 It is thanking God(or being thankful) by giving hands, arms, legs, and voice to your thankful spirit.

 It is adding to your prayers(thoughts(mb)) of thanksgiving, acts of thanksliving.”

Happy and Healthy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

Thanks for sharing your time with me — till next time. stay “ZYKIS SAFE!”

The older I get (a fortunate circumstance in itself) the more it seems I reflect on my philosophy of life. Even though I have never lacked for confidence in this journey we call life, I have come to share the following thoughts with my Family, Friends, and acquaintances (including you today). The two things I have learned the most in my years of living is, first, how much I do not know and, second (probably the most enlightening), is how much I can’t explain! The first has only served to increase my thirst for more knowledge and experiences. The second has consistently developed and increased my Faith!

This subject of Faith leads us directly to the subjects of God, Religion, beliefs (or lack there of), theories, and an almost endless array of concepts. This Faith aspect of the human experience has such a prominent effect on our lives and that of our Families. It permeates all of our attitudes and forms the philosophical base I referred to earlier in this writing.

As Thanksgiving (our purely American Holiday) approaches, it will quickly be followed by assorted Religious Holidays that fill our lives with great joy, but in some cases, anxiety and sadness. These Holidays enable us to share celebration and Love with each other. They also present us an opportunity to engage each other in thought and conversation, while we search for greater meaning to our lives together.

We are aware, no matter what our beliefs, that the best of life begins with being grateful! In our Family, God is present. Due to our diversified ecumenical nature in our Family, there are some nuanced differentiations, but God is our Faith. I have personally come to believe that whatever works (while not hurting other people) to move you forward through this journey of life is a good thing. In order for people to respect who and what you are, you need to respect who and what they are.

As we (my Family and I) wish you a Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Holidays to follow, leading you all to the very best New Year — we would like to invite you and your Family to share with us your thoughts and comments on this fascinating subject. We will be looking forward to hearing from you. May you and yours be blessed!

Thanks for sharing your time with me — till the next time, stay “ZYKIS SAFE!”

As Thanksgiving approaches I am reminded not only of a wonderful day that will be spent with family and friends, but also of “Black Friday” and the holiday shopping season that follows.  I get stressed as I think of bustling through the malls and big box stores with my wife and three children trying to get our seasonal shopping list fulfilled.  Adding to that stress are the children, though they are just being kids, who don’t realize the pressure that we parents feel as we scurry through the stores, looking for just the right gifts for everyone on our lists, while at the same time trying to keep an eye open for their whereabouts of not just one, but three young beings.  WHEW! EXHAUSTING!

I recently read an article by Tim Kang (actor—“Mentalist”) and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. I recommend reading this article where we are reminded of some of the basic safety tips we tend to forget as we start our holiday travels or begin our rushing with huge lists of tasks to complete.  Simple thought starters that we need to STOP and take time to map out—such as having a plan if you are split off from your kids—making sure your kids know who to go to for assistance and who to look for.  I am so aware, each time I sit down to write, that it only takes a split second for something to happen, for life to take a right or left turn. Work to be as prepared as possible and should you find yourself in a situation, remain calm.

I wish you all the best of luck should you decide to brave the “Black Friday” frenzy.  More importantly, I wish you a safe–Zykis Safe and joyous holiday season.