Last night one of our dearest friends did one of the most thoughtful and generous things for our family. I literally cried with gratitude. Coincidentally, right before meeting with him, I had just come back from teaching at my son’s religion education class. The lesson was about “The Good Samaritan” and how we can apply the principle of “loving your neighbor as yourself” in our daily lives. Our 4th grade class had much discussion about acts of kindness, acts of mercy, and how to be a caring and loving individual. We had specifically talked about how simple acts of kindness can start a chain of thoughtful events while leading others to also act with kindness.
As the kids shared ways in which they planned on doing acts of kindness and ways in which they have already performed good deeds, we asked ourselves lots of questions. Are we helping those in need on the side of the road? Are we paying attention to those that are hurting? Do you defend another’s character while they are unjustly being disparaged? Are we giving each other the benefit of the doubt? Does our behavior show good character?
We can never equally reciprocate our friend for what he has done for us nor does he want us to. But his act of kindness is a great example of love and friendship that we will never forget. It also inspires us to be generous in our acts of kindness. Right now, our way of being generous and showing “love for our neighbors” is by continually volunteering at our local schools and our church. Our hope is that our children can benefit from seeing our friend’s act of kindness and witnessing our volunteering activities, inspiring them to also act with kindness. Also we hope that our community at large can benefit too.
The expression “paying it forward” is about finding a way to help your community and your fellow human beings. There is actually a “Pay It Forward” foundation that promotes “lending a helping hand to someone in need…making a difference by doing something small…leaving the world a better place than you found it.” I know our friend a great believer in “paying it forward;” we are definitely not the only recipients of his kindness.
Let us inspire others by doing our own acts of kindness and talk with our kids about how the world needs good neighbors. Treating others like you want to be treated cannot be said enough. Little acts of kindness do make the world a better place.
The following paragraph is the concluding one in a book where a Grandfather is describing his Grandson’s perseverence in overcoming his difficulties in becoming proficient in a cherished Family activity. The lesson offered is invaluable to all of us, but especially so to the development of our Children.
“This is the greatest lesson a child can learn. It is the greatest lesson anyone can learn. It has been the greatest lesson I have learned: if you persevere, stick with it, work at it, you have a real opportunity to achieve something. Sure, there will be storms along the way. And you might not reach your goal right away. But if you do your best and keep a true compass, you’ll get there.”
The book is “True Compass”, the memoir by the now deceased Senator Edward M. Kennedy. It is interesting to note that in all that happened in this public figure’s life and all the well known people he knew, his final two pages concerning his life were about his Son and Grandson.
Thanks for sharing your time with me—till next time, stay “Zykis Safe.”
I am guilty. I am so guilty. I am so guilty of doing the exact opposite of what I expect from my children sometimes. My favorite is when I catch myself yelling from upstairs to my kids downstairs, “Stop that yelling!” Another favorite is when I am constantly telling them to chew with their mouths closed while I am quite possibly the most obnoxious gum-chewer around. Or another one is telling them that they need to eat properly while I am also avoiding the broccoli. How can we raise great, super children while being so imperfect ourselves?
Model the behavior that you expect. Demonstrating the proper behavior at all times would be ideal but probably impossible. I will watch my child overreact to something like spilled milk or a missed assignment and I will cringe realizing that the behavior was learned and basically duplicated from what they have seen me do. Long ago, when the baseball player, Steve Garvey was known as “Mr. Clean,” Steve made a remark about how he tried to behave well at all times by pretending that there was a child walking behind him; this would help keep himself in line. This is generally good advice; if you know that you are being watched at all times you generally will behave better. When we were in Hawaii a few years ago, we were very excited to visit the lava fields. I told each of our children that they can take a piece of lava home with them as a souvenir. Just as we were leaving, we saw the sign stating that it was illegal to take any of the natural resources. I was so tempted to allow them still to take the lava but I made them put the pieces back. My oldest said, “Mom, no one will know if we take it.” My response to her was, “that is when your true character comes through…doing what is right even when no one is looking.” Our children are watching us all of the time whether we like or not.
Change your habits. I am in the process of changing my organizational habits because I can see that my kids are not picking up my husband’s good habits of an organized room but my bad habit of a disheveled room. Shocking! I want them to pick up all of their clothes on a nightly basis and make their beds on a daily basis. I have not enforced this endeavor since I myself do not demonstrate this behavior. I generally do not make many threats to my children since I know that you must follow-up with consequences. I cannot expect one thing while doing another. My grandpa smoked cigarettes for years and would constantly tell me that he would spank me if he ever caught me smoking. I remember being in his little Mazda with the windows opened just a crack, the car filled with smoke, as he was telling me how bad smoking was. It was a classic “Do what I say and not as I do” moment. Lucky for him, I never did smoke. Most likely the fact that my parents detested smoking, would make us change immediately when we got home from my grandparents’ house and take a shower to get rid of the cigarette smell, helped steer me not to ever try smoking.
Acknowledge your mistakes. We are only human and we will make mistakes. Sometimes the best that we can do is acknowledging our wrongdoings, apologize, and do better next time. My favorite book that I read to my children is Harriet You Drive Me Wild! I love this book because it exemplifies that sometimes we parents can be pushed to our limits, overreact for a moment, but can apologize when calm and ask for forgiveness. At the same time, discipline our children on what is proper behavior. Our children need to know that we are there for them when they will overreact, or make mistakes, or make wrong choices. Success generally only comes after failure. How can we learn if we never make mistakes? Also we need to make sure that their wrong choices have consequences that fit the wrongdoing. I never realized how much “tough love” is involved with good parenting until, of course, I became a parent.
Constant communication is a huge theme that runs within our family. We value talking, discussing, and even arguing when necessary. Hopefully our ‘little monkeys’ are seeing more “right” in what we are doing than “wrong.”
December offers a myriad of events and complexities in our lives. It is a chocked full month. It is a time of year that also offers us some of life’s most rewarding opportunities and possibilities. The experiences we give and receive are usually a direct result of our ability to keep it simple and stay in balance. December is such an awesome time to attain your proper perspective and practice Being In The Moment!
As you develop your own philosophy of life that guides you through your days and that you share with your Family and Friends, here is a major portion of my formula that I would like to share with you. First, wake up Grateful(to be alive, be who you are, and have what you have)! Second, be Open(all is possible, each new day can be a better day and you can be a better person)! Third, Eckhart Tolle suggests in his writings that there are three modalities that you must possess to Be In The Moment. They are Acceptance(complete and total), Enjoyment, and Enthusiasm(literally meaning- thanking God for life). He further suggests that all else is Ego(to be eliminated). In addition, Eckhart advises that you vacate JAR(a short abbreviation a friend of mine created), which represents being judgemental, being attached, and being resistant. Fourth, and finally, we return to the beginning of our day when we first wake up, and after being Grateful and Open, we can reflect on the following thought from the Tao Te Ching by Lao-tzu — “Remind yourself daily that there is no way to happiness; rather, Happiness is the Way!”
Hoping all of you are In The Moment — In Your Moments of Your Life! Wishing all of you the Healthiest and Happiest of Holidays!
Thanks for sharing your time with me — till next time, stay “ZYKIS SAFE!”
It is a wonderful day to be alive — every day is a wonderful day to be alive!
The Art of Thanksgiving is Thanksliving. It is gratitude in action. It is applying Albert Schweitzer’s philosophy: “In gratitude for your own good fortune you must render in return some sacrifice of your life for other life.”
“It is thanking God(or being thankful-(mb)) for the gift of life by living it triumphantly.
It is thanking God(or being thankful) for your talents and abilities by accepting them as obligations to be invested for the common good.
It is thanking God(or being thankful) for all that men and women have done for you by doing things for others.
It is thanking God(or being thankful) for opportunities by accepting them as a challenge to achievement.
It is thanking God(or being thankful) for happiness by striving to make others happy.
It is thanking God(or being thankful) for beauty by helping to make the world more beautiful.
It is thanking God(or being thankful) for inspiration by trying to be an inspiration to others.
It is thanking God(or being thankful) for health and strength by the care and reverence you show your body.
It is thanking God(or being thankful) for the creative ideas that enrich life by adding your own creative contributions to human progress.
It is thanking God(or being thankful) for each new day by living it to the fullest.
It is thanking God(or being thankful) by giving hands, arms, legs, and voice to your thankful spirit.
It is adding to your prayers(thoughts(mb)) of thanksgiving, acts of thanksliving.”
Happy and Healthy Thanksgiving to you and yours.
Thanks for sharing your time with me — till next time. stay “ZYKIS SAFE!”
